I hate these nut ass titles that I have to name my posts…but Google’s index SEO robots won’t let me be great…
So I got a new job! Woohoo!! My contract wasn’t extended at my old gig because my position was being converted to a web development position and well…I’m not a web developer. My previous manager was awesome enough to let me know a month in advance so I’d have enough time to find a new gig…
You know, my co-worker joked one day while I was eating a bowl of soup at my desk, “You better enjoy that soup while it lasts because soon you’ll be eating at the soup kitchen.” He laughed so hard he turned bright red. #funnynotfunny…while using the last days at my previous job to “break the internet” with my resume…I thought out loud, “Man, it’d be awesome if I got my next job like I got this one. Someone calling me out the blue, really, really, needing to hire somebody.”
Did I tell you how I got my last position? I did, but you probably don’t remember…sent my resume to a recruiter. A day later submitted to the hiring manager. A day later, 30 min phone screen with said hiring manager. A day later, an OFFER. Site unseen, just a quick convo about my skills and BOOM SHACKA LOCKA! (or however you spell that) TiffMoney got tha jizzob!
Anywho, this is how I got this gig. In Big PHARM at that. I have to go through an extensive background check which I’m cool with…but this time…instead of a urine test, they asked for a hair sample…Say WHAT!?! I went off! Screamed at my recruiter like “I’m black, I can’t just be cutting my hair!?!! I drank all this water, what’s good with the urine test!?!!!” Long story short…they weren’t tryna hear that SO I need to go back and give up those follicles…I will say, I’m a little nervous! I don’t want my whole life story in some lab report, especially since I don’t get the chance to defend myself…like why a few too many glasses of wine might show up in a strand or two…I was going through something…It’s cuffing season…and I haven’t been cuffed yet…background checks should be a little open-ended don’t you think? I already had to go to my doc and get a copy of my prescription for diet pills just in case those bitches pop up…mind you, I’ve already started the job so yeah…heaven I need a hug.
Just pray that all goes well for me people. I’ve been broke before….I can’t go back!