This is a random rant by the way…
A couple of year’s ago I lost a whopping 51lbs and was the smallest that I had been since middle school. After two years of boozing and dining out, eating everything I found desirable and not exercising fo’ shit, I’ve ballooned up and gained 40 of those 51lbs back.
I hadn’t really realized how much weight I’d gained until I saw a picture of myself recently. Damn!! I’m feeling like Mrs. Potato Head over here. Damn genetics! Of course I inherited my dad’s body type and not my mom’s, who gains all of her weight in her butt! No, all my weight gained goes straight to my stomach! 5 sandwiches in one week and I end up looking like a fat Buddah statue! All of last summer’s dresses now fit like freaking t-shirts! I get winded just walking from my apartment’s parking lot to my door…what a pickle I’ve put myself in.
I know that weight is something that can be easily changed with dedication but…it’s the dedication that I’m finding difficult. Do you know my boss RANDOMLY asked me if I would consider getting lap-band surgery? WHAT THE FUCK! I’m not even that damn fat! I’m one ham sandwich away from having to shop at Ashley Stewart’s (although I hear they sell size 12’s now) but seriously what the fuck! Everyone seems to have been preoccupied with my weight except for me! My family, this asshole I just recently stopped dating, and now my fucking boss…I wish I could get preoccupied with it. Damn!
For whatever reason I am lacking the motivation to get my ass up and exercise. I’ll be 30 this August so you’d think that’d be enough but I just don’t fucking feel like it. It’s not like I’ve been big all of my life, I literally feel like I’ve just blown up from out of nowhere. Argh!
I read that there was a wine diet out but the problem is that you can only have 2 glasses of wine…I want the whole damn bottle! Why must I be such a lush!!!?
I wish someone would come up with a fun way to exercise.
How many calories does masturbating burn?