As a serial dater, I have been through this WAY too many times that I’d like to count…You’re on a date with a guy, you’re trying to be considerate by not ordering top shelf cocktails, ordering an average priced entree – even though it may not be what you want, etc…and then the bill comes…
To me, the first date is like a job interview – you show up looking your best and most of all YOU TRY TO IMPRESS! Damn! What’s so hard about that concept!?! So imagine my annoyance when I hear “let’s go Dutch”.
For those of you that don’t know what going Dutch is, it’s when a cheap ass mofo expects you to pay for your own meal/date. Now, I’m not opposed to going Dutch SOMETIMES (AFTER the first date), sometimes you gotta work with them. Times might be a little tight…although…if I was a man with slim pockets…I’d be the most creative muthaf*cka in the world!!! I would be the master of free ass/cheap dates! We’d be going on romantic “picnics” – catered courtesy of Save A-Lot groceries stores. We’d be going to “watch the sunset”, we’d be “volunteering to feed the homeless”…anything I could think of to spend time with a chick without her knowing that my broke ass can’t be spending my ramen noodle money on no damn expensive ass movie theater popcorn!
Back to my blog post…sorry for the tangent, I just don’t understand why men don’t think of these things…
Anyway, so yeah, back to going Dutch! I went on one date last summer, this guy had been trying to get with me for a while. I obliged, we linked up. So we’re at the bar, and the bartender asks if we’d like to start a tab, mind you, I only had a $2 beer on special. This fool turns to me and says “well, next date I got you, we’ll go to Red Lobster” damn!!! So much for that date! How bout I ordered the salmon, got drunk and had a good ‘ole time on MY DIME! Never spoke to that fool again! #bumb
Another time and another fool, the bill comes he looks at me says “I’m not paying for this, I didn’t order all this shit” and refused to leave a tip for the waiter, then had the NERVE to ask me to go to another bar with him right afterwards…BITCH! If you have money to go to another bar, you had money to pay for my half of the bill! Y’all I lie to you not, the bus driver literally waited for me for 5 minutes while I cursed his ass out on the street!! Sickening!
So do these fools actually think that it’s OK to go Dutch on the first damn date!?!!!! Huh? You’re supposed to be trying to impress me you LAZY ASS!!! But then…they turn around after the 3rd date and ask for some coochie? Oh word? But you didn’t even put a deposit down for your trip to the Magic Kingdom…you think you’re just about to walk up in here and ride these rides? I don’t think so…
Someone asked me on Facebook, at what point should I mention that I don’t want to pay for dates any longer…I told her, the minute you start having sex with him, 75% of your shared expenses are his to take on! Damn that!!! I had to make that decision myself. If we’re sleeping together, when the bill comes, don’t expect me to open my purse if you expect me to open my legs later! Fuck that! I could be anywhere in the world, but I’m here with you. Consider this date to be my appearance fee!!!
…When young and dumb and facing this dating debacle after SIX continuous dates of having to shell out my own coins with SIX different cheap bumbs, a hostess friend of mine gave me some advice that I still listen to to this day…”When the check comes, don’t even bother looking at, because it’s not for you.”
Works every time. Next date you go on, and you have anxiety towards the end, un-imagine that pink elephant in the room and act like it doesn’t even exist. If he wants you to pay, let his ass be petty and mention it and by all means…kick his ass to the curb!! If he can’t show a little effort, and show you that he thinks that you are WORTH the investment, then he’s NOT worth your precious time!
What are your thoughts on “Going Dutch”?
Enjoy your week!